At Rock Bottom & Fed Up

Wow! Never thought I'd be in such a mental space that I would take the most exasperating phase of my life and post it on the web for all to see.  But here I am - at rock bottom and completely fed up.  I'm fed up at the fact that I financed my American Dream (through student loans) which is now My American Nightmare.  I'm angry at the fact my retired fixed-income parents are caught up in my debt storm because they co-signed my student loans with nothing but the purest intentions of trying to help me become the first attorney in our family. 

I'M PISSED THAT I JUST DIDN'T KNOW BETTER...

and weary that so many of my friends are in the exact same situation.  I've been hoodwinked, bamboozled, led astray and sadly, I have no one but myself to blame (although its so much easier to point the finger at years of mass over spending and instant gratification by the American population in general even if its not any less comforting).  I was an uneducated consumer when all I wanted was to consume my education.  And now, the cost of my education is consuming me - literally.


My blog will chronicle my seriously unrealistic attempt to get out of debt (unrealistic because I'm in sooooo much debt due to law school loans).  The emotional turmoil, the extra and odd jobs, the practical tips for frugal living and my heart breaking realization that I truly cannot "afford" to have another child.  I will also do the unthinkable...I will post all my real-time finances in my blog (as soon as I figure out how to do a spreadsheet in this thing).  No one wants to say how much they make and how much they spend and what they spend it on - discussing your own money issues with other people is taboo.  But since I'm fed up, I will do so - openly and honestly.  I'll post my paystubs, bills and receipts and my bi-weekly budget (in all its negative glory); you'll see my household income and all our expenses.  Open for you to comment, critique, and make suggestions (and maybe even job offers???) hopefully with the intention of helping me get out of debt faster.


As I said, I'm at rock bottom and if I keep doing what I've always done, I'll always get what I've always gotten.  So now, I'm trying something different for myself, my sanity and for those out there who are just average Americans like myself who have been treading water for so long now we have no idea what being on top feels like and the laws make it impossible for you to drown yourself (student loans aren't bankrupt-able).


I will post my income and expenses in the My Debt tab and will keep a running calculation of the debt payments made and the current total.  This is definitely a sobering and humbling experience.