Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Dead or Alive

I finally counted up the cost.  The complete and total cost for my education to date.  And neither my education nor I am worth $190,461.02!! 

Now, I am grateful for my education but as the cliche goes...had I known then what I know now about finances, payments, interest, capitalized interest and life in general there is NO WAY IN HELL I would have made the same decisions.  And this gets to one of the points of my blog - taking advantage of 21-22 year olds who only want to go to school and have no concept or any real life experience with anything other than school and saddling them with hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of debt.  I can't even afford the payments every month of $2,340.12 ($28,081.44so I know I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO PAY THESE STUDENT LOANS OFF.

So yes, I was happy to take loans because I was happy to go to school.  But my issue is that I feel I was taken advantage of.  I wasn't informed about  capitalized interest and how it could equal the amount of the loan (who the hell would think that was even possible!!!).  Additionally, when you are unemployed and you need to defer or forbear the loan, that's when lenders capitalize the interest.  Talk about beating me with a nail studded baseball bat while I'm down.  The only other option you have is to default.  I was speaking to a rep at Sallie Mae and I told her I couldn't make the payments.  She told me that I could forbear the loan.  I said, "why would I do that, if I can't afford the payments now, I won't be able to afford them in six months." Sallie Mae however, would make more money off of me because they would capitalize the interest on my loan while it is in forbearance - so its not surprising that the representative offered me this option. She then suggested I get a part-time job.  I told her I already had 2.

Where do I go from here?  Look at that amount owed one more time.  No part-time job (let alone more than one) is going to put a dent in those numbers.  Do you actually think Sallie Mae is going to see any significant amount of the loan repaid? (Well, I actually know that they won't)I see why people commit suicide over debt because they really have no hope for a life when they are already behind 150K+ when they are just starting out!

For me, suicide is not and will never be the answer.  It won't change anything with Sallie Mae as I am just another delinquent account number to them.  And if I'm going to kill myself to get out of paying them, I might as well stay alive and just not pay them - the end result is still the same:

Sallie Mae}  $0    |    SM's Bitch}  No Life

So is the cost of my education really $190,461.02 or is it my life - whether dead or alive?    


  1. Have you looked into getting a public service job that provides loan repayment or loan forgiveness. I know they exist, though they're hardly something I could philosophically recommend, you might consider them.

  2. Thanks for the suggestion. I have looked into it and unfortunately, I have Sallie Mae private loans so all the loan repayment/forgiveness incentives don't apply to me (I consolidated my fed loans after a Sallie Mae rep told me how great consolidation would be for me). Also, there is a salary cap in order to receive the benefit and you STILL have to make payments and be employed for 10 years. So essentially, you have to live in poverty and still make high ass payments for 10 years.